All About the P-Word

Raising boys has been pretty great so far. They are busy, loud, snuggly, messy, stinky, risk-taking, fort-building, make you want to pull your hair out then melt your heart, tiny humans.

I love them! They are fun and make me laugh.

But there is also one other thing you should know about when raising all boys. It’s ALL about the P-word…

Yep, you guessed it.


What is it with little boys and their penises? Moms of boys please tell me I am not alone here. They are always “adjusting” it, messing with it, tugging on it, trying to hit their brother’s, always making “nut” jokes. Then the one time they are supposed to hold that thing,  they can’t seem to keep it under control. It’s like a competition of who can cover more square footage in pee on the bathroom floor. Guinness, we are setting world records over here, I am sure of it!

So anyway, we have had many discussions about this body part and how to take care of it and keep it to our selves and all those good safety talks that we unfortunately have to have with our children these days. The boys know to use the correct word and we say penis a lot here in our home. Especially considering that we just finished our final potty training stage this last year. Hallelujah! But being in a house of all boys, we really have no reason to explain the girl parts. All they know is that mom is different. I didn’t think it was necessary to go into any more detail about that yet.

But then something happened. A while back we had some friends over for dinner and they needed to change their daughter’s diaper. One of my boys looked over her shoulder with a curious look. Then he comes over to me and says,

“Mom, why is her butt on backwards?”

Oh man! As I held back my laughter, I realized now he is really going to be confused. I guess that would have been a good time to explain it to him. But I may have just let him think her butt was on backward.

I know I know, mom fail. Judge me all you want. I am just not ready to go there yet. They are on a need to know basis and right now I just don’t think they need to know. It isn’t going to hurt anything is it?

I grew up with three brothers and don’t even remember a time of not knowing that we were different. Maybe that is just a benefit of having opposite sex siblings, you learn these things much quicker and your parents are just forced to explain things earlier. But since my boys only have brothers this is probably why they are so curious about this missing penis/butt on backward problem. At one point or another my boys have all been pretty concerned with the fact that I do not have one.

“But how does your pee come out then if you don’t have a penis?”

“Does your pee come out of your butt?”

“Are you going to get one?”

“But where did it go mom?”

It’s like I am missing out. They assume I must have had one at some point and I just lost it! I don’t know how many times I have had to tell my youngest “I just don’t have one!” But it hasn’t stuck. He just doesn’t get it. I know it is totally my fault for giving them limited information, but I am okay with that for now. We will explain it better when we need to. Again, that “need to know” basis thing.

So until then, I am happy to just let it be all about the penis here in our house.

“Hey buddy I need to go potty I will be right back”

“Just hold your penis mom!”

Yep, definitely all about the penis…





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  1. This was a great one!! It brought back memories of when my Grandma would say to my sister and me during bath time not to forget to wash our front butts!!

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